today i was called "a black madonna". how awesome of a compliment(no sarcasm!). the day started off good with a ride to school and a rendition of "Birds and Bees" by Breathe Carolina. Techno in the morning is amazingg. i handed in my projects and went throughout the day pretty smoothly. And lunch was kind of fun. After school i got home at about 3:40 which is unusually early. I will say that i havent spoken to my psychiatrist or my therapist.....cuz i dont really want to. i dont want to get into it right now.Im off meds and Im really trying to take the chance thats in front me. My photographer is an awesome girl a little bit older then i am. and in short words shes the definition of awesome. Trully and thats alot coming from me.In just one day of meeting her shes shown me a glimpse of what i would like my life to be....what i would like my friends to be. Everything. And i just cant let it go... i refuse. Im going to Bamboozle on May 3rd, The No DOubt/Paramore show in june and Warped in july. it just sounds goood. she says ill meet new people. Thats all i can hope for. Im currently waiting for her to send me the links to the pics and when i get them i will post some on here.
I just cant let it slip away. I feel like this is my one chance. My one chance to forget everything thats happened this year and all the pain and hurt. Just be me or at least who i think i was. The girl who loves good times. Its so close....
plus theres a good chance i wont get into the other highschool cause ima big FAIL in math. SO im riding on this little drop of hope. Im smiling and going out, doing things i wouldnt do, and if my plan works out maybe we can revist the things that have gone on.
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