I'm a lot to deal with.

My traits are horrible and I notice it more everyday.

Sometimes I know that i'm not all quite right.

Sometimes I think in ways that I shouldn't be thinking.

Sometimes the most insane things make sense to me.

Everybook I ever read about some nutcase or suicidal adult appealed to me. Every word they said seemed to make perfect sense. How the tiles on the floor can seem like something completly real. How dying in a warm bath would be a grand idea. I see it with utter clarity.

There's nothing too wrong with that. I mean millions of people read those same books and enjoy it. I just want it all to stop sometimes to be honest. Not even the sadness or anything I just want it all to quit. It's like everything is amplified for me. I look at everyone's body language, how they speak and act in society, whether they put any meaning in your life. Can I just hang with somebody without digging into things I shouldn't? I live my life in mental pictures I guess. I take that one beautiful moment where you're playing man hunt at 2 am in the suburbs. Running braless, hair moving everywhere, and completly free. I take that and I make sure that it's perfectly remembered and I think about it as I go through the weeks and months. God, I'm seriously a miserable person. It just becomes too much. Sometimes I just want to sleep for weeks. Some peace.

Absoloutly nothing ever happens to me. It's actually hilarious. Laughable really.