trying to be grateful.

I'm trying to be grateful. Trying to appreciate the air I breathe.

I'm attempting to capsulate every laugh and every giggle for later use.

I'm trying not to be so jaded, be a little more free.

Maybe I'm just trying to forget.

I'm now at a point where my life is seemingly grand.

For example, today I went out with my co-workers (I'm so accepted and appreciated here I no longer feel like an intern) to a sushi restaurant. They could have went by themselves but they accepted me. We laughed and I ate and we repeated. They even poured me about 1/4 a teaspoon of hot sake....and even though I just kind of put it in my mouth and spit it out later since I'm straightedge I appreciated the offer.

For a second I thought about how lucky I was. To be at a table full of people twice my age on a school night eating good food and laughing with my eyes closed. I thought about how grateful I was just to be able to take the train home with the dudes and talk business with them.

I thought about how I have a ticket to see Bright Eyes in March. I thought about all the things that have come my way. I wasn't happy but I felt soft and warm and sometimes that's enough.

One of the greatest things a human can do is just come to grips with their shortcomings and the things they can't change. It's good to appreciate a laugh and take the hits as they come. I'm not happy but I'm lucky and that's more than I can say for a lot of people.