day 2:: dreams

There's a line in "Someday You Will Be Loved" by Death Cab For Cutie that I always hold close to my heart.

"...I know you're heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet"

That's how I feel. Truth is, everyone who knows me in reality thinks of me as this self-sufficient non-love believer. They think I could care less about romance. I guess it goes along with the whole kick ass-take names-redhead persona but I actually obsess over it. I indulge myself in all roles of Kiera Knightley and always find myself coming back to those heart sickening songs about love and feelings. (If I had a dollar for every time I listened to First Day Of My Life or She Loves Me So i'd be rich) I feel so overwhelmed with love and the need to share it with someone. I just miss that feeling I guess. I think Love is pretty spectacular to be honest with you. I really do feel like there's someone out there. Someone who my heart already sings for. I have just yet to meet his face.

I like a lot of dudes. I liked that dude in that band I saw. I felt utterly discouraged with myself and repeated this cycle with another band member. I'm not shy...a lot of people think that but I'm not. Call me crazy but I would just like to know if someone's interested in me BEFORE I go ahead and ruin myself with sad words of infatuation. Shit just doesn't work for me haha. But I really feel like I'm getting close. Now, that this whole miserable cycle of school is coming to a glorious and well-deserved close I feel so much lighter....and prettier too.

So with all that said, I guess I should return to the point of this post.

I love Love. I love the peace and security of it. I love the fire and passion of it. I love all the hidden feelings it brings out of us as humans. I like that even through everything I always believed in it and I still believe in it even if it doesn't believe in me.