mental health day

Yesterday I was patiently waiting at home in perfect silence, reading as usual. Lonely as usual. Miserable as usual. Emo as ever. My mom came home and the first thing she does is yell at me about how i didn't call her. She's just bitchin because she has a lot of "stress" over Johns stupid cut off finger. She also yelled at how I'm selfish because I'm not crying over his wound. In my eyes it was his fault that his dumb shit got cut off to begin with. I'm frikkin drowning in my own depression i highly doubt that i care about some one's lost limb at the moment. At this point i just don't care, I don't care about talking back or being disrespectful, I just want to run off but i have no where to go. After some hot tears i retreated to my dark and dirty basement where i threw myself on some unwanted clothes and curled up. I also remembered stealing one of John pain killers so i took that as well. I felt no effect so i probably wont do that again. After being in the comfort of the dark. I went upstairs and declared I would not go to school. And there you have it.

I'm not missing out on anything. It's spirit week at school and today is "international day". If you ask me they should just call the shit Caribbean day and be done with it. It's just a bunch of Trini's and Jamaicans yelling at the top of their lungs making asses of themselves. Of course I'm Jamaican too but the noise and the ignorance made the whole mental health day a priority.


i woke up this morning to the comfort of no mother waking me up.She abruptly came into my room a little while after and brought breakfast that seemed more like lunch and a glass of milk.MILK?? Apparently she thinks the lack of serotonine in my brain will be fixed with a little cup of calcium.
Thanks mom you cured my depression.(Sike)
I'm feeling very slow and lethargic with a twist of nothingness. Every step i take is starting to make me give off some sort of effort. For the rest of the day I'm gonna try to write some more of my book, write in this blog of mine and wish i had a completely different arrangement of life, Look at some clothes on the Internet that I'll never be able to buy and fix my myspace. Tomarrows valentines day......shoot me down.

Excuse me while i plan my escape(I'll write a little later)....