"come back home"

i must confess a certain hatred i have for stupidity.

the kind of stupidity acquired by a substance.

through the last four hours. ive discovered many things.
my mother came home drunk just 30 minutes ago.
shes never done that before.
i waited 6 hours for her to bring me something to eat.
instead i get no returned calls and a big laugh in my face as tears streamed down my face.

i dont know why i got so mad. maybe its because i waited hours in this house by myself trying to get my head straight. i havent changed my clothes all day and i must confess a shower wouldnt do me anyharm. but i dont have the energy. so when my mom came home like that. it made me feel really.....small and unkept.

ive noticed that she has started to choose john over me and i say that through observation. my mother laughed in my face as i cried and seconds later BEGGED for him to come back over here. BEGGED. and in that moment i saw a little bit of respect vanish.