Sometimes people can surprise you. while the people closest to you are oblivious the ones walking the perimeter know you better than you know yourself. So it kind of caught me off guard when my no bullshit aunt said "briana's always been delicate. Always fragile and too sweet. She's still that way". I guess that is pretty true. I think just being told to shut up kinda makes me want to go in my room and lay down. I'm pretty easy to disappoint. It's not too hard to burn my heartstrings.

I just have a head full of wishes. It's kind of like how a lot of little girls think about their wedding day. They dream dresses and flowers. I've always been focused on that one guy who means something. Every since day one. Always watching cartoons just to see if the boy will ever kiss the girl in the end. Searching for that slight sense of romance. Maybe it's just the same old boy I meet. The same boys harassing me on the train. It gets pretty hopeless. I just really hope I'll meet someone worth meeting one day. Or at least someone who's worth something that I might want to bet on.

I have another year of school after this one but already time is flying. March? are you shitting me? Over half this phase is done and soon I'll be planning my life. Sometimes the weeks creep on me and I wonder if theres ever really going to be anything worth seeing in this lifetime. I guess I'm scared that even when I escape velocity some day I'll still be held down by disappointment. Maybe I'm unlovable. Maybe getting out of here wont change that.

But I guess it's worth the try.

It's worth the try