Piece of cake

I went to see my grandma who's still recovering from her masectomy(or however you spell it).
I love her more then anything and it hurts to hear her so sad.
I adore that she's trying not to act depressed about missing something...
I just tried to talk to her and put a smile on her face but at the end of everything her replys were all:

"If god spares me another day"
which is weird for her. Usually she never talks like that.

She needs help for everything.So me and mom had to come give her a spnge bath and stuff.

Which is like everyones nightmare.
but for her it seemed like a piece of cake.

A sad, tear welling up in my eyes kind of cake.

Watching the women who raised you and took care of you while your mom went off to have a texas romance groan in pain and be reduced to this was so ......idk the word.

i felt so bad.
i wish i could help.

She has big black bruises. BIG

i even read the bible.
THE BIBLE?
i wouldnt read that thing for a free meal.
but to see that smile on her face was worth it. Even for just that second.

I know my grandma better then anyone else.
I know she's crying at night.

I would give her the world.