I'm having a tough time dealing...
i don't remember the last time i cried.
that part of me is just cut off apparently...

i live in this huge beautiful city.
best city in the world they say.
and i hate it.
theres so many places i want to go here, so many memories i would love to make just laughing and admiring how the buildings look at night.

my mom chooses to act like a bitch by continuing to not tell me how my father died because ......i shouldn't care and it doesn't matter because he dies either way.

all these feelings being pent up. my mom looks ugly on a personality level at the moment.

that song by the fray...."you found me"

that's my life. where was everyone when i needed them. i would've died. i could still die.

blah....well whatever i don't know what to do with myself, my old feelings are resurfacing. the future scares the living shit out of me and i feel like.........I'm alone.I'm missing sonia who's still at Holliswood. she should be out by tomorrow....i want to be there for her. i don't want her to be alone....especially if her stories more fucked up then mine. i want to cry and scream. but out of everything i just want to go away.

this is possibly.......the worst time period of my life. how pathetic and emo does that sound.
i pity myself
I'm disgusted with myself.