i got bamboozled(negativly my friend!)

so you want to know how bamboozle 09 went?

it came out just as horrid as i negatively envisioned.

I thought that this cool girl with all these friends and this cool music/photography driven life could do how fix things. I thought that (like she said) i would meet a bunch of people and have a great time. Instead i pretty much spent the day by myself trying to make myself happy and taking crappy pictures. We just played this stupid cat and mouse game of come find me. And we both lost...or at least i did. I found myself in the back of a mosh pit just watching people act like idiots. Like a slow movie or something....and even though they looked like total dick wedges they were having more fun then i was and i couldn't help but envy it. All these people, couples, best friends, fucking groups of friendly people all smiling and making out or fucking both and i couldn't help but hate them. I wanted to leave two hours after i came in but i told myself that i had the ability to force myself to have a good time. And i don't have that power.

So i made a mistake. It was my fault for trying to be positive again and then getting disappointed. So i stayed for half of fall out boy and then left not leaving any trace of myself behind. At the end of the day no one knew my name and i was the same girl who walked in. So i spent a small percentage of my time crying in the back of my moms car.

And these are the events that make me leave people.So i don't care who reads this but if i EVER get the chance to escape this shit I'm living dont even think for a second ill come back and say hi to anybody who hasn't benefited my life. And that list is pretty empty. So fuck my the girl and fuck well....almost everyone i physically come in contact with 5 days a week. And I'm not taking it back

Its a horrible feeling when you have nobody.

on the plus side i got two overpriced shirts and Cobra Starship was great. Fall out boy thinks too highly of themselves in my opinion. I did move around. I tried to blend. I tried. I wont again..unless paramores involved.