ive been looking in the mirror lately.
focusing on a darkness under my eyes that doesn't seem to go away.
focusing on how my hair is too flat and doesn't stay as messy as i planned.
Ive been looking in the mirror for the first time in years.

ive never been cocky.
but ive always thought of myself as attractive.
i never winced at my reflection.
but now for the first time ever i kind of am.

im looking. and im looking.
and im getting nervous and discouraged.
i feel that im at the brink of great change.
here i am at this time where im pathetic.
being self-consious.....something i hate
and i think it all means something.

i think this is growing up.
im not a kid anymore. im a junior.
my mom doesnt give a shit.
shes not home.
and i always am.

And now college flyers are in the mail and im feeling different.
The tutus and skirts have lost their luster.
and my huge sweatshirts just seem unflattering.

And now its time to sink or fly.