this is my confession.

im just a girl.

and all the poetic excess and figurative speech cant hide my true intentions.

ive been a nervous wreck for the past week or two.

and i guess its time i quit the whole "im badass, i kick ass and take names" persona.

im just a girl.

and the truth is....ima punk. just a regular wuss.

i run away from my problems. i avoid them literally.

i ran so far away from the people i love.

just because they didnt fit this image that i wanted so bad.

just because i didnt think they would understand.

i back my decisions. After all, what can i do. time has passed and time has no sympathy.

i love the girl i look at in the mirror.

She's not perfect but she tries. And she grows and she learns.

Theres things she doesnt want to admit. Things that continue to hinder her.Secrets.

But briana is well liked.

and i think that says alot.

Just a girl. tis the truth.

And all i want to do is be loved.

Fall in love with someone decent and maybe have a steady relationship for the first time.

I want someone to hold my hand.

Because in truth im both weak and tired.

Weak from a shit load of changes and feelings.

Tired from being on my own. Im tired

I miss having a bestfriend. A true one.

I miss when friends meant something important.

Friends meant family and no matter what you always knew someone had your back.

I cant thank enough those people in middle school who were there. I love you all.

Those memories are priceless. And my eyes grow wide when i think of all the things we did.

Hudde Class of 07.

I miss and i want and i breathe. But im scared.

I dont want to fail anymore and i dont want the dissapointment.

Life is passing me by. Im a fucking junior now. shit.

i want to be loved. thats all. but i cant open up my heart.

I want a bestfriend but i cant open up my mouth.

I want you. And i want a him.

Fuck my standards.

I want to blog about the places ive been. I want to uncover the secrets of New York. My city. My boroughs. I want to describe the wild times. The new frontiers. The touches ill feel and the rushes. I want to tell you about a kiss with someone special. Or the day long talk i had with a stranger. I want to tell you about meeting paramore and flying on a plane. I want to tell you about the sky and what hope used to mean for me. I want to tell you what life has. The possibilities. And maybe i want to tell you about my crash and my reverts.

Like i said in my last post its do or die.

I feel it. And i cant help but feel that my life has a timeline.

I dont want to go straight home from school by myself.

I want to be the aggressor. I want boys to be lined up at my door. My phone full of messages.

I want the inside jokes and the hilarious moments.

And i have to get it and stop being a puss.

Because if theres one thing im deadly sure of. It's that we are in charge of our own lives. Theres possibilities ...thats a fact. but its not important. its about the choices you make and the people around you. Its about your will. its about trying and not crying when it fails.