I'f there's one thing I hate, it's missing a show because no one can go with me.
I've been to shows by myself and it's never EVER as fun as going with someone else.
I just hate that everywhere I turn I'm on my own.
But fuck it, because going to shows is the only thing that makes me feel like blood runs through my veins.
the only thing that makes me feel valid and significant.
And no one in my life is worth me sacrificing being alive so I'll probably go to the show by myself on monday. I sound so whiney, I mean it's not a big deal but im so tired of being alone.

i've been feeling so bad lately. Ive been sleeping for the past 14 hours not because I'm tired but because waking up is too much of an effort. I hope things get better.